...Origins of Sara-Wildflower....

So my non-blog-name is Sara.

When I was a little girl (and now...) I LOVED flowers. While they're referred to as weeds, dandelions, clover, "purples", and goldenrod were daily props when I played out-doors in Ohio. My huge backyard served as host to them, as well as some idle heather flowers and buttercups. My favorite flowers would adorn my head in a wreathy crown, and others would make their way into a stew brewed up by myself and and friends when we were playing "cooking show".

Once while driving with my grandparents, I had grown tired of playing with my car toys (pocket connect four with my then 3 year old brother wasn't working- he kept winning!), and I noticed that there was a GREAT abundance of flowers on the side of the road. Bright amethyst purples! Golden yellows! Screaming pinks!! I was in heaven...Now this all goes back to a few things about me: I was a total spoiled princess when I was a kid. Not like "here's a pony 'Precious, go have fun"...but if I wanted something reasonable- I got it. Just because I knew how to ask, and was coincedentally charming as a fox! Also as a person who was born an artist- color does something to me- as a child there was no way for me to communicate it- but I NEEDED color. Often I'd use grass and dandilions to stain my keds white shoes in different patterns...Back to the car.

So these great big fiels on the side of the road had me so excited! I couldn't take it any longer and asked my grandpa to pull over so I could pick flowers. First he laughed- and said we were almost to our destination. Then my grandma made a joke about bugs being all over them and that I didn't 'need' those flowers and kept knitting. And I asked again- nicely. Also adding that my mom lets me pick flowers all the time. And yet again my request was met with a no, and a kind joke. So, the fact that I was very wound up about these flowers, and a bit of a brat who just got told no-TWICE; I sort of freaked out. When the story is retold I said a few different things but I remember saying something to the effect of : "IF YOU DON'T LET ME OUT SO I CAN GET FLOWERS I WILL THROW MYSELF OUT THE WINDOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" At a freakishly high decible and legs flailing. FULL OUT TANTRUM. Yeah, that was me. Charming as ever...
My poor grandparents  didn't know what to do, so they caved (mind you at this point my brother who was sleeping woke up asked if we were on the side of the road b/c I had to pee...). I literally picked ONE golden rod, ONE daisy , and ONE queen annes lace. Later that evening when telling my mom about the days events (while I slept  happily with the wilted bouquet in a plastic hotel cup of water next to me)- my mom filled them in on a little secret- She called me (and still does- much to my liking actually) Sara Wildflower and let me run through fields to pick flowers. Yes...I was a hippie even as a kid. And in Ohio it wasn't hard to find fields that had tons of flowers.So she'd stop on the side of the road for me.

So flash forward about 21 years. You'll notice that the majority of my photos are of flowers. This is because something inside of me NEEDS them. And I can't very well (as a sane, rational adult) take them all with me. I can't always pull over to pick goldenrods (though I did once, and there was an enormous weird bug on it that I didn't notice until it was flying around my car...lesson learned. I'm not going to do that anymore). So the second best way (actually the first best way since I don't have to kill them to keep them) for me to feed my drive for flora is to take their picture. So you get to know a little bit about one of the few nicknames my mom has for me, as well as why 97% of the pictures I post are of flowers.

                                                       Me, posing with my loves...

Flowers are amazing and whenever people ask me to choose my favorite I am just comepletey unable to even pick one. Orchids are so exotic and luscious...their scent is positively delicious. Yet at the same time a simple daisy can make me smile and make a day better in an instant.

Tuesday photos...

 

Brooklyn, March 2010

...and the many faces of Samson...

  

  

  

  

Samson, sepia March, 2010

Look! Spring is coming! Spring is coming!!

  

  

Have a wonderful Wednesday...

The life and times of a whirl-wind revolutionary

Winter has set in.

The days are shorter, and colder. Bitter cold. Bone chillingly cold.

But that doesn't bother me. I am in the process of becoming something truly great and wonderful (what that is I don't know yet, but eventually it'll happen and I'll just know it!)
 So the weather is never troublesome or upsetting to me . It's raining? Big deal- I'll get an umbrella and my galoshes. It's cold? I'll bundle up and make sure I have my tea. Human beings ability to adapt is what has kept us alive (amongst other things) for the past couple thousand years.

I am not letting this season get me down. It's not easy though because I am not immune to the down side of the season. I am more easily perturbed, more lazy, and definately a sucker for 'hibernating'. This isn't like the way a bear hibernates (waking in the springtime all svelt and ready to chow down). I'm talking no holds barred eating, and laying about. It's bad. Lately I've been eating a whole onslaught of terrible things and then just as soon as I have vowed to go to the gym, I fall into the worst kind of food coma. The television-food coma. All those great things on TV to DVR!!! Of course I need to watch them before the DVR gets full! OF COURSE.
For now none of it has shown up on my butt. And I suppose the few times I have made it to the gym *read: once a week*, have staved off the extra calories...But it's not about that. I'm a masochist who needs to get into tip top shape by January first. I'm running a 5 mile race. I've said it in too many public forums AND to my boss, and co-workers. Nothing will motivate you like having a blabber mouth and being a stickler for integrity.

Also, I miss my family. Not that I was ever a clingy home-body. I have a really solid relationship with both of my parents. Never one to over share, they don't know (or need to know) about some of the more detailed and interesting parts of my life (you know, the parts that make stories juicy, jokes funny, and most sailors blush....). But we're close never the less. The reason why I miss my family is because most of the time, I don't feel that I have one. And it's made me a bit cynical.My parents got divorced a little more than three years ago. It's fine, and they're better apart- but they both got remarried so fast, that I hardly have gotten used to them being apart. To make matters worse, I live really far from them both. My mom is 3 hours away, and my schedule doesn't allow for me to see her that often, and my dad is in Florida. Both of them have these new lives, and even though I'm grown- I miss having time together as a family. It's happened a few times, and it's be AWKWARD. Thats because of the new additions to their lives being there. Not that they aren't nice people- They just aren't my family.

So now when I see people getting married, I think to myself, "gee, it's either them or me who's getting divorced". Yuck right? I have to work at making that thought turn into something else. FAST. It's ok to feel negatively of course, but I send that right along. I need to burn some mental sage. 

And now I have a plan to balance out all of this bear-like behavior.  It is my CHOICE to not let the season (and sadness about my parents divorce) make me fussy and unpleasant. It's my choice to get closer and closer to ok with the twists and turns of my life.

Part of my revolution to change the world and make it better, includes changing myself and making ME better.

To change the world all you have to do it make choices. I am choosing to boycott certain companies (as you may have seen in a previous blog), and making certain food choices, to make the world better. To make myself better I am committing to living a colorful, and real life. I welcome all the blessings and interesting people and things that will come into my life. So be it. The next year is going to be life changing for certain. In a most positive way!!

On top of my photo-hunts (which will increase in frequency since I have taken some days off from work and plan on making excellent use of them), I will also be finishing more of my projects that have been stowed away for over a month. Finishing a few paintings, fabric projects ( a bunting inspired by a fellow blogger) crocheted cuffs jewelry, new years cards and finally getting a proper portfolio together. I always get so motivated, but lately something has been making me feel the need to 100% follow through. Which isn't always the case so it's a nice change.On top of that, I am going to aim to be a runner. Not because of the goal to run a marathon, but because it's not something that I had ever thought that I could do.
And I'm re-learning the clarinet. For the next few weeks, before I sign up for lessons I am practicing half an hour ever day. When I have proper lessons I will most likely practice for longer, but not every day. We'll see.


So part of my revolution is making time to heal myself. Not a bad step. It's important to take care of yourself, because if you don't who is going to? Sometimes it's not about healing, but enriching. Which is just as important. When you aren't wounded you still have to grow and better yourself.

Speaking of taking care of ones self, I took tomorrow off. Mostly so I can bake all sorts of goodies to send out to people. SO tonight I will make some holiday cards(why buy when you can hand make right?), and get the ingredients together for my bake-a-thon. Pictures to follow. AND tomorrow night I'm going to an awesome Hanukkah party (also pictures to follow).

DID SOMEBODY SAY PICTURES? See below for some more pictures from my portfolio.

Park Ave, 12.09

Technicolor Christmas, NYC 12.09

 

Riverside Park, 12.09

Multicolored, Broder house 11.09

 

Mucha, Broder House 11.09

old bones, Broder house, 11.09

Golden Nipple, Broder house, 11.09

Besito

This is my most recently finished painting titled 'Besito'. There is a restaurant (named 'Besito) that has the actual photo from which I painted this on their wall and it's HUGE. There was something about it from the minute I saw it. So loving, and warm. So I decided to paint it.

Hope you all enjoy it. I'll be posting more photos of my paintings soon!

LOVE and GRATTITUDE

Thats what I feel right this very second.

I have the most amazing friends and family.

It's times like these where you count your blessings, and I have many.

Oh, I can't wait to create more art, and have a private showing. It's going to happen. And a lot sooner than I realized. All I can do is put that energy out there and see what comes back. Among other things.

Photography: It's what I do. Assistance: It's what I need.

Below please find some of the THOUSANDS of pictures I have taken. If you are interested in using, viewing more or purchasing photos, please feel free to leave your email or contact information in a comment and I will make sure to get back to you.

Highline Park, NYC 6/09

Garden of Eve, Cutchogue NY- 7/09

Highway Flowers, 7/09

Broder Garden, 7/09

Cutchogue, NY 7/09

Lilly, 8.09

Highline Park, NYC 6/09

 

Broders, 6/09

Broders, 6/09

I've been interested in photography for a little over 2 years now. I don't know why it took so long for me to be interested in the composition, lighting and details of photos. It's probably one of my most favorite activities. I go on photo hunts as often as I can. Usually, I take pictures of anything that catches my eye. More often than not it's nature. Flowers, leaves, water, trees, the sky or any combination of influence of them. I envy the folks who can snap photos of just about anything and be excited. I used to be like that. Now I can't be bothered if it's out of focus, or the lighting is off. I'm offended actually. I have really high expectations of my pictures and have reached a level of overall frustration. Especially since for my birthday I was given an amazing camera. The Canon G10 Powershot. While I'm still learning to take great pictures, the ones above were taken with my "rinky-dink" canon elph. I say rinky dink in jest because in actuality if you know how to use all the features and settings you can take some really great pictures.

In the past few weeks I've been trying to focus on learning how to use more of my new cameras features- which I can't seem to figure out still. It's pretty complicated for a novice so I might have to either solicit my friends (again!) or go to a store that could give me a basic tutorial (does that even exist? can a store give me a tutorial? Oy- or do I have to scavange Craigslist? This is what happens when you  'wing it' with everything!)

And while I love this time of year for many reasons, I find that photographically there is a lull. Not that there aren't subjects to be captured and beauty to be found- it just needs to be sought out. Actually, I plan on hitting up a few great locations that photograph really dramatically this time of year. It'll be great and I'll make sure to put up pictures.

This leads me to mention that I am in desperate need of a website. I don't want a regular old patchwork website- I'd really like a real one. Flash, or something fancy so that the whole thing is streamlined. Yeah...that'd be pretty awesome. 

If you happen to know how to use a Canon G10, or know how to do a website, I'd happily pay you , or barter with you. I need assistance please!!

One small step for me, one giant step, also for me.

I am really excited about my upcoming art gallery exhibition!

There are also a few hundred other artists being shown in the gallery with me. It's not hard to get selected- because anyone who buys the kit buys their space on the wall, and time on the website. Not to discredit my talent- or anyone elses. It's called Six by Six Gallery.

So does this make my contribution any less notable? I have a slight conflict in my mindset about this.

I am surrounded by artists, and writers, and very successful people- most of which have had their own gallery showings or exhibitions. And in turn the writers have been published, or featured in some venue. My most recent showing of work was at the Tryst event a few months ago. And before that the last showing I had was Sophmore (Junior?) year in high school.

Now beause the gallery didn't seek me out, nor did I solicit a portfolio, does this make me less deserving of gallery space? I was born an artist. I love to create, and make things, and it's who I am- no matter what my career is. So why has it taken me this long to be on a wall, in NYC? Yes, I sound like a bumpkin  agrandizing the NYC art scene like that- but it's not without cause. It's New York fucking City.

I'm have no option, I simply must take this opportunity as a wake up call. Between my photography, painting, and mixed media pieces I feel like it's what I'm meant to do. I have no other option. Things are going to be pretty neat. I've looked into my street vendors license so I can start selling my photographs and other art (prints), and I'm also going to work on setting up a real website (for photography and art) and set up a portfolio to distribute. Aside from being marathon (NYC ING) ready by June (I'm set to run a 5 mile marathon in January. I have a month to train. WTF am I doing to myself?)- these are my new, and reasonable goals.

I think I can? Nope.


I know I can.

idle hands...

Now that I've (re-)learned how to crochet, the crocheting and sewing will probably nag at me all day, every day. Of course all the while I'll be working, and driving; quite unable to pull at the lanky, but soft and welcoming yarn and embroidery floss that ache to be a flourish, or stitch holding together some whim that fluttered across my whimsy-filled, lollygagging mind. And now that I've found the button collection that I thought was lost- Oh wow. I do not have enough time to take care of this. I think that I will be taking some personal days and just setting up my own little (non-union, but very fair trade since I can stop for a sip of tea, to change my itunes, or obliterate an apple any ol'time I'd like) factory. All I can say is that it's a good thing my sewing machine isn't working...because then I'd not only raid every fabric store from here to Kalamazoo- but then I'd spend all my money. Well, then everyone would get hand made gifts for the holidays.

Well, thats what everyone's getting anyway.

One wish that I wish right this moment is more time to paint and craft as I wish. It's not always easy being an artist trapped in a working persons body. Even if my job is magnificent....

I should go before this takes up even more time that I should be playing with buttons and string.